Most of you guys on here seem to be computer whizz kids, but that is not the case for everyone.
What might appear to you & your colleagues to be straight forward & elementary to you is not that straight forward to others such as myself. In addition to that I spent a solid twelve hours yesterday trying to work thru' the problem & further 4 hrs today & so far have not got anywhere.
If you have really spent 16 solid hours trying to use a MOD then I think perhaps you should be considering a different hobby - I hear that stamps are coming back in.
If you want to carry on then why not use your time better and do some reading about ASP or use a forum that has had the MODs added already.
Swearing like a football hooligan at OneWayMule is not the way to get anyone to help you.
lockstock, are you uploading the text files to your forum folder or a different folder on your server? or into the root? please answer that question first and then we can help you figure out what the url is.
As a side note, I strongly suggest that you watch your language. Many people who visit these forums are offended by the choice of words you used a few posts up. The points people have been trying to make are that: 1) patience goes a long way in getting help.. just because someone answers you doesn't mean they will be around to see your reply the next minute; 2) if you are new at web stuff, then it will serve you to read up on how to do common things, such as knowing how to ftp files into the appropriate folders etc.