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Bookie
Average Member
USA
856 Posts |
 Posted - 31 March 2003 : 13:25:23
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I understand there's been a fall-out lately because of certain discussions and personal viewpoints. This topic is not intended to be a recreation or continuation of any of those discussions. I'd simply like to offer my opinion on why certain topics are so sensitive.
I was raised in a household with certain values and convictions. My parents believed certain things and taught those things to me. Also, through study and observation, I've developed additional values and convictions. As did all of you. Each of us has come this far learning certain things about life and the world.
Certain things are negotiable. Certain things are based on preference. Certain things are non-negotiable... according to the individual. Certain values are based on our deep convictions.
I've seen some healthy opinion sharing on this board. Pentium vs. Athlon. Pepsi vs. Coke. My sports team vs. your sports team. For the most part, these subjects are on a surface level and based on preference. Yeah, I've seen some sports fanatics that are pretty hardcore about their team... that's an exception.
But some knowledge is based on deep convictions and values that have been a part of our lives for years and, most likely, decades. These are values that are rooted in the way our parents raised us, the community we live in, how we've been schooled to think, or what we've learned and observed with our own minds. No amount of factual information or impressive dialogue from others can convince us otherwise.
Challenge me on my musical tastes. Let's debate about the football teams I like and don't like. These things don't matter much. But when you challenge me on an idea I've had my whole life or on something my parents taught me or on something I deeply believe in, that hurts and I may bite back. This is the core of my being, my essence, you are attacking.
So, when you tell me that I'm wrong to think that Ruby Red Squirt is possibly the best soda pop in the universe, I don't really care. When you tell me I'm wrong that I believe "such and such" or "so and so", prepare for a fight.
In closing, I'd like everyone to understand that each of us operates on these levels and encourage everyone to be sensitive to others' values and convictions. Normally, discussions here don't touch these deeply-rooted subjects, but if they do, tread/thread lightly. |
Participate in my nonsense |
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GauravBhabu
Advanced Member
4288 Posts |
Posted - 31 March 2003 : 13:37:43
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quote:
Originally posted by Bookie
...But some knowledge is based on deep convictions and values that have been a part of our lives for years and, most likely, decades. These are values that are rooted in the way our parents raised us, the community we live in, how we've been schooled to think, or what we've learned and observed with our own minds...
I agree with you Bookie. However, most of the times, it is not the Difference in Opinion which results in fall-out but the Personal Attacks on each other which lead to minor or major fights.
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Reinsnitz
Snitz Forums Admin
USA
3545 Posts |
Posted - 31 March 2003 : 15:24:24
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| good observation Gaurav :) |
Reinsnitz (Mike) |
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snaayk
Senior Member
USA
1061 Posts |
Posted - 31 March 2003 : 16:14:01
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So very true. Unfortunately, many times we (as in all people) fail to see this distinction and get personally offended when you are not able to understand (and possibly agree) with what they are saying. Thus, degenerating what could have been a good debate into a personal mission to somehow convince the other party that "I KNOW" what is right and true; at all costs  |
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n8pbm
Junior Member
USA
212 Posts |
Posted - 31 March 2003 : 16:54:19
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I was always taught that whoever makes the personal attack is the looser of the discussion. They simply ran out of facts and had to resort to personal attacks to defend their side. So when that happens I simply stop discussing it with the person. Of course that is my opinion  |
Mike
Great Lakes Pop Up Club Camping |
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seahorse
Senior Member
USA
1075 Posts |
Posted - 31 March 2003 : 21:35:05
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I think part of the problem is the discussion board itself. As a communication device, it doesn't really transmit subtle emotion, humor, sarcasm, etc. very well.
It can be very easy to misinterpret what has been written when it comes without the body langguage that normally gives you clues as to what a person is trying to communicate. |
Ken
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Worldwide Partner Group
Microsoft |
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GauravBhabu
Advanced Member
4288 Posts |
Posted - 31 March 2003 : 21:39:49
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| You are correct seahorse and that is why it is important to be thoughtful of what is written. |
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Reinsnitz
Snitz Forums Admin
USA
3545 Posts |
Posted - 31 March 2003 : 21:41:15
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| Talking in a forum is a true art :) |
Reinsnitz (Mike) |
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OneWayMule
Dev. Team Member & Support Moderator
Austria
4969 Posts |
Posted - 31 March 2003 : 21:48:04
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quote:
Originally posted by seahorse
I think part of the problem is the discussion board itself. As a communication device, it doesn't really transmit subtle emotion, humor, sarcasm, etc. very well.
Yes, serious discussions over the internet, may it be a chat, a forum or even a guestbook (which I've seen as well) very often don't work. Either everyone's throwing in his opinion (mostly very short with no background/prove or whatever at all), some start to get personal, which they probably wouldn't do (at least not the way they do it online).
I've also seen people pop up on a forum and destroy a good conversation with only a few posts; other than in a face-to-face (or faces-to-faces) discussion you simply cannot know how serious one is with what he/she's posting, thanks to the general feeling of being anonymous (nicknames etc) everyone seems to have. |
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Edited by - OneWayMule on 31 March 2003 21:49:12 |
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HuwR
Forum Admin
United Kingdom
20604 Posts |
Posted - 01 April 2003 : 03:19:52
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quote:
thanks to the general feeling of being anonymous (nicknames etc) everyone seems to have.
Which is why I use my name, if you are not prepared to put your name to something, then it is my opinion that you shouldn't say it. |
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Steve D.
Average Member
USA
640 Posts |
Posted - 01 April 2003 : 10:30:05
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| Huw, I couldn't agree with you more! That's one of the features that really drew me to Snitz, was the ability to have a screen name, but in your profile have all the info you wanted to supply about yourself. It's really simple, but I tend to respect people more when they aren't hiding behind LoudMouth1234 or some other random name. |
Swing Dancing Video Clips - It's All Swing! Forum |
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Deleted
deleted
4116 Posts |
Posted - 01 April 2003 : 10:43:31
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quote:
Originally posted by HuwR
quote:
thanks to the general feeling of being anonymous (nicknames etc) everyone seems to have.
Which is why I use my name, if you are not prepared to put your name to something, then it is my opinion that you shouldn't say it.
I second this. I never used nick names. The reason I'm using "bozden" is characters in my name which do not exist in some keyboards.
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 Stop the WAR! |
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dayve
Forum Moderator
USA
5820 Posts |
Posted - 01 April 2003 : 11:15:28
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/me is not anonymous... its my real name  |
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HuwR
Forum Admin
United Kingdom
20604 Posts |
Posted - 01 April 2003 : 11:54:38
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and all this time I thought you were called Dayve  |
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snaayk
Senior Member
USA
1061 Posts |
Posted - 01 April 2003 : 12:43:24
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| I agree it would be nice to be able to use your real name wherever you went. But, since there are so many people in the world with the same name, and the internet is so global, it is very diffulcult to get your name where ever you go. Thus if you try to get your name at any service you may register at (forums, newsletters, email, etc) you may or may not get it and you will end up having umpteen usernames all over the net. I for one always use snaayk. If you see a snaayk chances are it will be me. I like that, which is why I went with something a little less common. I have msn, yahoo, icq, ircs, aol, forums, newsletters, emails all with snaayk. That would not be possible with Tony or TonyB. |
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Deleted
deleted
4116 Posts |
Posted - 01 April 2003 : 13:10:34
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quote:
Originally posted by seahorse
I think part of the problem is the discussion board itself. As a communication device, it doesn't really transmit subtle emotion, humor, sarcasm, etc. very well.
It can be very easy to misinterpret what has been written when it comes without the body langguage that normally gives you clues as to what a person is trying to communicate.
Unfortunatelly this is what we have in hand which is most advanced tool for the globe. Perhaps adding more smilies will help.
A more major problem is the foreign language in international environments. But the main problems is the lack of the ability of empathizing.
Some respect for different opinions will also help.
Sometimes positive discrimination is necessary.
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Stop the WAR! |
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